Forgiveness is NOT - Taken from the Mars Hill Website

1. Forgiveness is not denying, approving, or diminishing sin that is committed against us.
We cannot say we are fine, that it was no big deal, or that, since it was in the past, we’ve just moved on. We must be honest about the reality of the sin if we want the forgiveness to be equally earnest. In forgiving, we are, in fact, saying they are wrong, we do not approve of their sin, and that it really is a big deal and not a trivial matter to us.

2. Forgiveness is not naïveté.
Naïve people are prone to live as if the world were not filled with depraved sinners capable of evil, and they often become naïve by not really looking at the sinfulness of sin, including their own. Such people are not forgiving sin as much as they are ignoring it.

3. Forgiveness is not enabling sin.
To forgive people is not to remain stuck in their cycle of sin, thus being complicit and enabling their continued transgression.

4. Forgiveness is not waiting for someone to acknowledge sin, apologize, and repent.
The sad truth is that some people will never fully repent, and others never at all. Others we will never see again, or they will die before we hear an apology. We forgive because it is what God requires and what we need, not because our offenders have apologized.

5. Forgiveness is not forgetting about sin committed against us.
It is actually impossible to completely forget such things. This is why when God says, “Their sin I will remember no more,” it does not mean that he has no memory, but rather that he continually chooses not to bring it up or keep it in the forefront of his thinking. Indeed, because God is all-knowing, it is, in fact, impossible for him to actually forget something.

6. Forgiveness is not dying emotionally and no longer feeling the pain of the transgression.
Rather, forgiveness allows us to feel the appropriate depth of grievous pain but choose by grace not to be continually paralyzed or defined by it.

7. Forgiveness is not a one-time event.
Those who have been sinned against commonly have seasons when they feel afresh the pain of past hurts and have to forgive their transgressors yet again.

8. Forgiveness is not reconciliation.
It takes one sinner to repent, and one victim to forgive, but it takes both to reconcile. Therefore, unless there is both repentance by the sinner and forgiveness by the victim, reconciliation cannot occur, which means the relationship remains continually broken until reconciliation does occur. Forgiveness is the beginning of potential reconciliation but is not in and of itself reconciliation. Forgiveness takes a moment. The trust that reconciliation requires is gained slowly and lost quickly.

9. Forgiveness is not neglecting justice.
In fact, if a crime has been committed, we can simultaneously forgive someone and call the police to arrest him or her. God will deal with every sin of every human being justly. For those who repent of sin and come to faith in Jesus Christ, justice came at the cross of Jesus, when our Savior suffered and died in our place for our sins. For those who do not repent of sin and come to faith in Jesus Christ, their justice will come in the punishment that is assigned to them in the conscious eternal torments of hell. By not seeking vengeance, we are not neglecting justice, but rather trusting God for perfect justice and getting ourselves out of the middle between the sinner and God. Romans 12:19 instructs precisely this: “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, 'Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.’”

We know that we are not bitter when we actually want those who have sinned against us to be maturing Christians and, in addition to praying for them, we forgive them in hopes of showing them the gospel of grace.

Click HERE for the orginial post

POST LINK: Friends With Your Spouse

Friends w/ Your Spouse

This is really weird, but I've been thinking a lot lately and talking to a couple of my friends about how I think in order for a relationship to work, people have to start on some kind of platform as friends. Leave the romance bit our for a while and look at how you just 'get on' with each other, this is part of the glue that holds us together.

Click the link above to read the article, hope you like!

Prayer

Hey :) Ummm just listened to a talk by Pastor Mark Driscoll of Mars Hill Church, on prayer (you can listen to it here) and I just thought I'd share my notes with you guys, as I was really blessed by it. For a lot of people; Christians and non-Christians alike, prayer can seem like such a weird concept - talking to someone you can't see or hear etc. but I think the talk breaks it down really well. Here are my notes:

Prayer is... the act of conversing or communicating with God.

As Christians, we pray to God as our father. We pray with respect, but not with formality as if we were addressing the Queen. Prayer to God should be a lot more familiar, just like we would ask our earthly father, not necessarily laid down on our hands and knees with eyes up facing heaven.

Because God is our father, we can go and talk to him, boldly, and needn't be afraid to talk to Him about anything;

“Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”

- Hebrews 4.16

There are examples within the bible where prayer with God has resulted in a move in His hand; for example, when Abraham spoke to Him about having mercy in His judgement on Sodom and Gomorrah (Genesis 18), but the real purpose of prayer is to change our hearts as we learn to trust Him, obey Him and build a relationship with Him.

Prayer is TO THE FATHER through the Son;

“For there is one God, and one mediator also between God and men, the man Christ Jesus,”

-1 Timothy 2.5

This means that apart from Jesus, prayers are ineffective. And we pray by the power of the Holy Spirit. (Luke 11.1, 13 and Galatians 4.6)

Pray…

1. In faith – “And all things you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive.” (Matthew 21.22) God has three answers, Yes, No, and Later.
2. Succinctly, with clarity – “And when you are praying, do not use meaningless repetition as the Gentiles do, for they suppose that they will be heard for their many words.” (Matthew 6.7)
3. In God’s will – “…if you ask the Father for anything in My name, He will give it to you. Until now you have asked for nothing in My name; ask and you will receive, so that your joy may be made full.” (John 16.23-24)
4. Humbly (Luke 18)
5. Fervently – “Now He was telling them a parable to show that at all times they ought to pray and not to lose heart,” (Luke 18.1) It keeps us hoping, it maintains a willingness to learn and be teachable

Pray for…

1. Those who sin against you and help to forgive them – “Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father who is in heaven will also forgive you your transgressions.” (Mark 11.25)
2. Your needs – “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened." (Matthew 7.7-8)
3. Against temptation – “Keep watching and praying that you may not enter into temptation; the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” (Matthew 26.41)
4. Evangelists, church planters and campus pastors – “Then He said to His disciples, “The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Therefore beseech the Lord of the harvest to send out workers into His harvest.” (Matthew 9.37-38)

When did Jesus pray?

• Early in the morning (Mark 1.35)
• Daily (Deuteronomy 6.4)
• Over his meals (Matthew 14.19)

Where did Jesus pray?

• Sometimes publicly in front of crowds (John 11.41-42)
• In smaller groups (Luke 9.28)
• Alone (Luke 5.15-16) Take the moments in the day to withdraw into prayer with God

Who did Jesus pray for?

• His enemies (Matthew 5.44)
• His friends (Luke 22.31-32)
• Children (Matthew 19.13)

How did Jesus pray?

• With scripture (Matthew 27.46 – Psalm 22.1)
• Long, silent prayers (Luke 6.12)
• Short prayers (Mark 6.41)
• Painful prayers (John 12.27-28)
• Right up to the end (Luke 23.46)

* As a side note from me (this isn't part of my notes) I sometimes find it easier to write/type out prayers if I have a long list of stuff to pray for. I did find however that if it had been a couple of days/weeks since I'd typed a prayer I'd start feeling guilty and we shouldn't feel like we have to pray. It's easier to think like this; If Jesus was a close friend of yours, you'd want to talk Him regularly, meet up for lunch, spend some time just hanging out, telling Him what's going on in your life etc. It isn't that He doesn't already know, it's that you want to share it with Him because He's a friend.